Last week I was visiting the Springfield Quad with a friend and her three children. I took a bunch of pictures of the gorgeous day and our kids playing outside. Not wanting to cause any rifts with my friend, I asked, “Do you mind if pictures of your kids show up on my blog?”
Her blasé response took me by surprise. “Oh, no, I don’t mind at all,” she said, waving her hand like she was waving away a gnat on a hot summer day. “People will do whatever they do, they can find out your information any way they want, these days,” she went on. “If they’re perverted, it’s not going to make a difference whether my kids’ pictures are out there or not.” What a refreshingly reasonable perspective. I happen to agree. Which is why I have my children’s pictures up on this site, and their real names, and my own real name, and a sense of where I live, and all that jazz. Because if some pervert really wants to find out, it’s not that hard to learn about our family whether I put this information up, or not.
On the other hand, there are the kinds of people who seek out information on the Web and then deliberately post creepy stuff, whether they are trying to hint at some future action they’ll take (stalk you down and pester you for the rest of your life) or just entertain themselves because they have nothing better to do. The world, indeed, is full of all kinds of people, including these types.
Take the last comment on my blog for instance. It’s deleted now, because I didn’t like it. Someone who inserted the name Manesh Munharabbi, with the email address manesh60@yahoo.com, posted the following:
My name is Manesh. I am Baha’i and live in your commuinity. I enjoy your blog very much, and feel I am now a member of the Brandon family! (Haha, joke!)
But seriously, your beautiful daughter Council, she is promised already? Surely she must be, she will be marraigeable in about three more years.
If not, I am looking for a fithful wife, and would love to come to your house and discuss arrangements with you and your husband River.
I am 45, in good health and rich.
Please write back soon and inform me.
Many blessings on you, honored Heather.
Your friend,
–Manesh
I saw this comment late last night and it kind of freaked me out, in a mild, creepy sort of way. River encouraged me to lodge a complaint and track this guy down. I looked him up on Yahoo! and could not find a record of his email address. I pinged his domain name and came up with a nonexistent domain. I asked some Baha’is who were nearby if they had heard of him and they said they had not. Does he exist? I don’t know. Did I ban his IP from commenting here again? Yes.
Please don’t step to me, or make comments about the marriageability of my daughter. It’s not appropriate. It makes me want to take my blog down. But I don’t want to choose the path of being fearful. I would rather have trust that this is not going to come anything. Let us hope that is the case.
If I seem overreactive, see post “Fencing” where I nearly came to fisticuffs with a nine-year-old boy. Despite my languid musings here, I am actually not entirely a peaceable person, especially when it comes to feeling that my children are being watched by much older men. Call it the mama bear in me, but that raises my hackles.