Instructions for eliciting good behavior out of your young children despite days of being cooped up in the house together, more or less, for extended periods for one reason or another:
1. Casually scroll through pictures of the devastation of Hurricane Katrina on the ol’ home computer until one of your wee ones comes along, curious to see what you are doing and to pester you about needing food.
2. As questions arise, answer them in a flat deadpan, and continue scrolling through pictures, explaining (at an age-appropriate level) what they capture, what the circumstances were, and so on. Continue until your children are all gathered around you in a rapt audience (all pestering you about needing food, perhaps).
3. Let explanation of the hurricane wander tangentially to a scientific discussion about weather, hot and cold air masses, and how they can wreak havoc. Use images as evidence of the power of nature.
4. Offer to show children how the hurricane is affecting you where you live. Pull up any decent local weather forecasting Web site. Explain how air masses bring the wet and wind to your area, and yet how this is not the same as a hurricane.
5. Without previewing the hazardous weather statements, read them aloud to your children. Note with some dismay that you are reading aloud a forecast that includes the possibility of a tornado this afternoon, along with the severe thunderstorm threat. Allow voice to trail off slightly.
6. Sit in silence, demonstrating what it is like to be in the eye of a hurricane.
7. Field barrage of questions from children about what ought to be done in case of a tornado arriving in our neighborhood, visiting our backyard for a spell. Ask children if they know the safest place to go in case of a tornado. Nod head patiently while children explain to you all the things that need to be collected: flashlights, candles, batteries, blankets, fresh water, precious toys, “important documents,” and spare clothing. Oh, and pets. Oh, and food. And food for the pets.
8. Explain as patiently as possible that a tornado is unlikely to hit your house, and yet indeed, being prepared is a wise route to take.
9. Observe as children proceed to collect everything that must be brought to the basement shelter. Offer a place for such things to be collected in waiting. Offer to let the children know if a tornado is likely to arrive. Offer to monitor the weather all afternoon, and to keep a close eye on alerts. Reassure the children that there is no imminent threat, and surely you can manage to serve lunch.
10. Observe (and celebrate!) as children proceed to act on their best behavior for the remainder of the afternoon, frightened for their lives, and grateful that their home is simply intact, and that their belongings are not strewn about the city in floodwaters, ravaged by wind and rain. And pray that no tornado strikes your home. And be grateful.