I was over at Barbie’s the other day. She was catching up on some emails after a weekend in Hawaii, only home for a few days in preparation for a cruise embarking from Anchorage, Alaska. She has been on a kick to visit every state of the country before the year 2010. I can barely keep up with her. As you might be able to tell from the photo of her place, it’s also kind of hectic to travel—all the housework and mail to catch up with later can be a real hassle. But still, she tells me, it’s worth it to see so many new places. While we sat around and sipped on some French vanilla cappuccinos Barbie had whipped up with ease (her prowess in the kitchen never ceases to amaze me), she offered me some advice after checking out her online horoscope. Incidentally, Barbie is the only person I know who can actually choose from any zodiac sign when she reads her horoscope! “Girl,” she told me, after having read this week’s horoscope for Taurus, “you need to find a way to unload. You’re carrying too much stress is all. What are you going to do to take care of yourself on a regular basis?!” “You’ve got a point there, Barbie,” I had to admit. “I am feeling it real bad in my back and neck today. For some reason, that is where my tension just crunches in. Could it be my posture when I’m sitting at my computer?” “Hell yes!” she responded. “Look at my posture, for instance,” she demonstrated. “I make a point to always sit up straight. No matter what. An upright posture goes a long way.” Barbie then went over to her closet and showed me how she puts on layers of clothing without ever slumping or letting any form of tension get to her. Tension can erupt, for instance, when you’re feeling in a quandary about which item of clothing to don on a particularly fickle fall weather day. Go with bright cheerful washes of color, or stick with more subdued autumn hues? Warm, fuzzy layers, or light, breezy ones? These types of questions can cause a lot of stiffness and pain if you let it get to you, Barbie advised with a smile. So the answer’s simple: just don’t. Arrange your wardrobe the night before, for instance. “But Barbie,” I complained, “my problem isn’t with my wardrobe. I’m feeling tension and stress because of shifts in my lifestyle. What I wear doesn’t matter nearly as much to me!” “What you wear always matters,” she replied, “but I hear what you’re saying. Maybe if we go outside for a walk we can talk about it some more and breathe in the delicious fresh air. Just give me a minute to figure out what to layer properly since it’s kind of hot/chilly/wet/breezy out.” Barbie has this way of describing the weather that is just unparalleled. And she loves keeping track of the weather just as much as I do. In fact, at her place, she had a floor-to-ceiling wall of window installed just so she can monitor the weather outside (in part to determine what she should wear). She can even remove the glass from the whole window and turn it into a gigantic screen letting in all this lovely fresh air. Outside, I did start to feel better. We took a short walk to a nice local park and the air was comfortable enough that Barbie had decided she didn’t need any spare layers. (It saved us some time back at her place.) “Where do you go to unload some of your stresses?” she asked me curiously. “Well, to be honest, not that many outlets exist for me,” I confessed. “When I was younger, and didn’t process things as verbally as I do now, I would turn to sports and theater. These days, I don’t have nearly the amount of ‘extracurricular’ time I used to,” I explained. “Right,” she said, “since you’re married, you have three kids, all that kind of stuff—a total lifestyle shift!” Barbie loves to label things in three words or less. When I was going through a really tough time in my life a few years ago, debating a major move from Maine to Massachusetts, she called it my “southwestward migration exigency.” We reached the park and Barbie looked meditative. “But you also have outlets now that you didn’t use to have,” she proferred philosophically. “I mean, you’re married now, and back in the day, you didn’t have an intimate relationship like that to access, where you can share what’s in your heart and be so connected to another person.” This really gave me pause. Barbie, a fun-loving, single woman who seems to have an endless source of income for sportscars, living it up, crazy fashion, and luxurious travel, was reminding me of this most essential of treasures in my life, my precious, long-suffering marital partner. “You’re so right. In a lot of ways, my marriage is a form of therapy. I get to live it every day and it helps me sort out a lot of my issues.” Another thought occurred to me. “I also have my writing. Did I tell you about my blogs? Blogging is a great way to unload some stuff. I’ll probably even blog about our visit today!” Barbie regarded me with a smirk on her face. “Blog about your visit with little ol’ me?” she asked, mockingly. Barbie and I both know how much she loves the spotlight. (Photos for this entry by Council Brandon, Barbie’s personal photographer.)

Posted by Heather B on 7 October 2005 at 12:04 pm.