WELCOME TO OUR NEWSLETTER
=====SEEN: CELEBRITIES IN THE HOME=====
Our favorite sensitive one, PAOLO BRANDON is currently having a temper tantrum on the couch. After coming home in a chipper mood and with a crisp to-do list after school, Paolo did his 30 minutes of reading and then dove into his math work. But only a few minutes into getting it done, he began to sulk, tossed his paper and pencil on the floor, didn’t respond to queries and stomped his way over to the couch. Once there, he began to toss pillows to the floor and is currently engaged in trying to destroy property and make annoying noises.
Mama HEATHER BRANDON has been trying to get work done all day, to some degree of success. Despite various distractions, such as street people who attempted to steal her bin for recyclables, causing her to have to run halfway down the block and politely ask for it back, and the typical distractions that hungry and cranky cats provide, such as vomit on the bed or complaining about a lack of food, Heather has managed somewhat to keep up with the news scene she tries to cover online. Discouraged somewhat by various recent events, Heather has been ignoring other duties in favor of plugging ahead on a grant application. The enormity of the job, however, has caused her to carry a very morose expression all day. “I doubt I can get this done before tomorrow,” she was heard muttering to herself as she passed in the kitchen, avoiding the hungry glare of another cat.
Partners-in-crime VIGIL and COUNCIL BRANDON, in usual form, completed their homework promptly and then, cheerful as can be, escaped upstairs to watch a favorite video so as not to distract their brother, PAOLO, further from his homework. Having discovered the cat vomit, they handled themselves capably and did not attempt to clean it up, but instead got their Mama HEATHER to do it for them. The capable part came in the form of avoiding sitting on it, on top of the clever astuteness required to determine that it was, indeed, vomit and not some other form of food they might like to sample, which required help, and it was requested.
=====AROUND TOWN: GOINGS ON OUTSIDE=====
When HEATHER BRANDON was observed running halfway down the block to retrieve a mistakenly stolen recyclables bin, the MAIL CARRIER was observed to say to her, “Good eye,” as she dashed past him and gave a wave.
The TRASH COLLECTORS were seen collecting trash along the street today. Rather than collect all the recyclables in the bins, they were seen to collect only those recyclables in the official city recyclables box. Upon closer inspection, they did not actually empty the box in full; they simply casually dumped it and anything semi-stuck was left at the bottom of the box, including a substantial amount of recyclable material such as at least one glass bottle. The other bin was not emptied.
STREET PEOPLE who wander around and take things out of recyclables bins were seen on the street today and helped to clean out the recyclables bins in question, although they did also attempt to steal a bin they thought must have been out for recycling, or something.
=====OBITUARIES=====
No dead animals were observed today in or outside the house, in contrast to earlier this week, when youngest cat KIARA trotted home in late afternoon, after a long night out, with a half-dead squirrel in her mouth bleeding badly from the neck, and gasping for breath. The squirrel’s peaceful passing was arranged for by HEATHER and COUNCIL in a cardboard box, cushioned by a plastic shopping bag and a towel. The cat was brought inside and has not officially been allowed back outside, pending worries about whether the bell on her neck is working and whether the neighbors are going to contact ANIMAL CONTROL regarding the dead rodents Kiara was reported to have been leaving on various doorsteps after hunting in the woods.
No family members are known to have died today.
=====HEALTH NEWS=====
GRAMPS, who is in the cardiac care unit at UMass Memorial in Worcester, was in good spirits last night during a phone call with him from his hospital bed. Complaining of tubes in his nose, itchy IV tape, balloons that inflate and deflate on his legs, and being tethered to the bed not allowed to get up, he remarked, “I am not the easiest patient,” adding that he questions everything, and that “all this medical protocol” might actually be sort of stupid. He added that when the police arrived on Tuesday ahead of the ambulance and fire truck in response to his 911 call for help getting to the hospital, he invited the officer in and sat down to talk. “Would you give me a ride to the hospital?” he reported asking the officer. No, the officer said, that would be against protocol. Of the ambulance’s arrival, after which he was loaded onto a stretcher, Gramps said, “Yep, you guessed it, protocol.” Suffering from unpredictable heart stoppages, Gramps is said to be getting a PACEMAKER installed today or tomorrow, causing him to miss at least one FAMILY WEDDING.
The family refrigerator appears to be nearly empty today. When one home-dweller, COUNCIL, returned from school, asking for a snack, a reply was overheard, “Sure. If you can find anything to eat.” Three children were later seen scrounging from a plastic container of cold, leftover pasta from dinner two nights prior. Similarly, the cats were begging for food, and what little was offered to them was observed later to have been vomited on an upstairs bed. A resident cat, BUTTER, is suspected to be the probable vomiter, but no charges have yet been filed.
=====MARRIAGES AND ENGAGEMENTS=====
ETHAN and his lovely fiancée HILLARY are set to wed Friday, October 12, in southern Connecticut.
KATE and her adventuresome fiancé MICHAEL are set to wed Sunday, October 14 in eastern Massachusetts.
=====WEATHER=====
After repainting the walls in the LIVING ROOM recently, the mood is greatly improved there. However, most of the lamps remain unplugged, leaving visitors and dwellers alike in predominant darkness. The recent CLOUDY SKIES outside and CLOSED SHUTTERS have contributed to the overall grey gloom. One passer-by attempting to read on the couch was heard to say, “It sure is dark in here.”
The forecast seems to indicate that the recent uncannily HOT AND DRY SPELL observed in the area may now be history. One dweller in the home remarked, “We’ll see what becomes of the poison ivy this year.” Watchers are eager to see if more of the poison ivy will attempt to sprout leaves before winter really sets in - but for now, it still seems as though fall hasn’t arrived.